The Daily Ping

One of my favorite Threadless shirts, and one I was finally able to procure after it was reprinted after several years of being unavailable, is “Music Snob.” I think what I like so much about it is that in moments of mind-wandering, I find myself trying to imagine the made-up music subgenres the shirt lists, or, in extra-nerdy cases, thinking of cases where they already exist.

For instance, I can imagine “Gangsta Lounge,” just by taking some heavy funk basslines and adding them to a lower-tempo exotica track. “Emo Bossa Nova” could probably be achieved by halving the pace and adding some minor chords. And “Underground Yodeling” would just be a yodeler that happens in a club in Brooklyn but doesn’t have a record deal yet.

One of the subgenres on the shirt that obviously already exists is “Instrumental Hip-Hop.” Honestly, it’s kind of odd that it’s even listed, as instrumentals have been included on hip-hop singles going back to the very beginning. And now, it’s a fully fledged subgenre of its own with thousands of producers making beats that stand alone. Just for the sake of picking a name, let’s say J Dilla.

Another that already exists is “Death Jazz.” A group called Jerseyband is essentially a metal band with a multiple-piece horn section.

“60’s Grunge” – The Monks, perhaps?

“Children’s Hardcore” – This is close.

“Indie Klezmer” – there are a bunch. I’m thinking of the Vulgar Bulgars and Hasidic New Wave.

“Afro Country” – isn’t that the blues?

“Bubblegum Blues” – isn’t that about 95% of modern blues bands? (KA-POW!)

The ones that are more difficult to imagine and don’t exist, as far as I know, that I’d like to hear are Dixieland Techno, Acid Classical, and Goth Pop.

Someday, I’d like to see a compilation CD of examples of each of these imaginary (or not-really-imaginary) subgenres. That’d be nifty.

Posted in Television, Movies, and Music