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May 20th, 2005

Wedding Anniversary Gifts

With my wedding anniversary just around the corner, I found a helpful resource in this list of traditional and modern anniversary gifts. The thing is that everything looks fine and dandy, but there are some odd ones here.

  • Modern 6th Anniversary: Wood Objects. Wood objects? I know what it means, but that phrase doesn’t exactly inspire romantic thoughts. “Look, honey, I got you a wood object!” In fact, it sounds like a cheesy start to a recreation of one’s honeymoon… hm.
  • Modern 16th: Silver holloware. I have to admit I had to Google what “holloware” meant. That led me to this page which informed me that I could get… jiggers. Nothing says I love you like a jigger.
  • Modern 32nd: Conveyances (e.g., automobiles). Okay, this is a pretty dorky gift. It makes me think of those laaaame Lexus holiday commercials where stupid rich folks give their significant others stupid SUVs with giant stupid bows on top so they can drive stupidly all over Stupidville with their stupid cell phones. Stupid!
  • Modern 44th: Groceries. What?
  • Modern 48th: Optical goods (e.g., telescope, microscope). I guess. By the time my 48th anniversary rolls around in 2051, I’ll be thinking more about eyeglasses and cataracts than anything else.
  • Modern 49th: Luxuries, any kind. “We couldn’t think of anything to put here. We give up. You go figure it out.”

The good news is that the rest of the modern list – along with everything on the traditional one – is borne of sense. But come on – groceries?

Posted in Everyday Life

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