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August 1st, 2001

Vietnamese Funny Story

The “Vietnamese Funny Stories” that I posted during the Blogathon seemed to have gotten a good response from the few people that have read them, so I present to my Pingers, another wonderful awkward translation of a folk tale/joke/story from the infamous Vietnamese Funny Stories II:

I’ll Not Cut Your Vulva for Your Husband Has Nourished My Wife’s Foetus

That pregnant woman’s husband was a soldier who lived far from her. Her neighbour was a teacher who wanted to make love with her. Thus, he told his pupiles to sing loudly as follows:

“Will give birth to eyeless, earless and mouthless children. Those who do not have their foetuses nourished when getting pregnant!”

Hearing so, the pregnant woman was so afraid that she had to ask the teacher to “nourish her foetus” for her. When the soldier came home and learnt that he had a deep-rooted rancour against the teacher and tried to revenge himself.

One day, when the teacher was out, the soldier told his wife to go and tell the teacher’s wife as follows:

“The district chief orders my husband to come back here to cut all the women’s vulvas in this village. My husband is thankful for your husband’s ‘nourishing of my foetus,’ so he tells me to invite you to his room so that he will examine yours and will report to the district chief that you have not a vulva at all.”

The teacher’s wife was so afriad that she hurried to the soldier and asked him to “examine” hers.

When the teacher came back and knew about it, he got angry and went to the gate, cursing loudly:

“Thy father! Where did you get the law of cutting women’s vulva?”

The soldier also went to the gate and cursed back:

“Thy mother! Where did you get the method of nourishing women’s foetuses?”

That story has a moral we can all live by. -ram

Posted in Just Plain Odd

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