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January 18th, 2009

A Personification of the USPS Online Tracking System

With all due apologies to Ryan’s comparison of online tracking options.

Me: Oh, I’d like 2 of these external hard drives. Let’s get it, Amazon!
Amazon (2 days later): Your order shipped. Here’s the USPS tracking info. Enjoy and thanks!
Me: Great! USPS, tell me what’s up.
USPS: We were told that we’d have a package for you. Thanks for using the United States Post Office – We Deliver For You!™
Me: Great.

Me (2 days later): Hm. USPS, how’s that package doing?
USPS: We were told that we’d have a package for you. It’s coming from Nevada. It should arrive sometime next week. Thanks for using the United States Post Office – We Deliver For You!™
Me: All right.

Me (next day): I wonder if that package has gone anywhere. USPS?
USPS: We were told that we’d have a package for you. It’s coming from Nevada. It should arrive sometime next week. Thanks for using the United States Post Office – We Deliver For You!™
Me: grumble

Me (next day): Damn it, USPS, I’d like to know if anything is going on with that package.
USPS: We were told that we’d have a package for you. It’s coming from Nevada. It should arrive sometime next week. Thanks for using the United States Post Office – We Deliver For You!™
Me: Thanks ever so much.

Posted in Everyday Life

Paul January 19, 2009, 2:16 pm

As a bonus, on one of my packages the dialog now looks like this.

Me: Where’s my package?
Amazon: We shipped it as we told you. Thanks!
USPS: What? Package? I have no idea what you’re talking about. That number? Who knows?

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