For the 2004 election, Paul and I endorsed Henry Calitri for president. Calitiri was “looking forward to creating a large research office in discovering immortality for a human being to live till the age of 925 years” (as was I!) and “forming a unit composed of a modern couple who will assimilate information on the magic techniques of penis enlargement through articles in popular magazines and medical journals.” Alas, somehow Calitiri didn’t win. I’m guessing there was some serious voter fraud going on.
A couple of years ago, I declared my support quite early for Vinnie Ferrari, a candidate who at the time was protesting “Administration member Brayson Shokker’s loss to Slambo the Clown.” Slambo gets away with murder, I tell you! Sadly, Vinnie’s site (which proudly displayed the Ping’s support” seems to have expired, so I can only assume he’s no longer running for office.
So. Who to endorse for 2008? I’m leaning towards Lee L. Mercer, Jr.. Why? Well, let me quote from his “Reasons for Candidacy” (the important bits are emphasized):
34. To Prove the government owes me Zillions of Dollars in money and is refraining to pay me and my business Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence National and International.
49. To Prove the United States Government killed my sex life, my wife sex life, my daughter-in –laws sex life both may sons and other of my family members sex life with Espionage Experimentation and Espionage Exploitation sex killing.
56. To Prove Jeb Bush is all in my house with disease.
66. To Prove America is America.
67. To Prove these perpetrators are trying to stop me from running for President of The United States. They are Vice-President Dick Chenny, Former Vice-President Al Gore and their Assessors. They keep killing my mother and our family the evidence is on my mother’s and our Criminal Intelligence Electronic Surveillance Health Recorder. I do not want these perpetrators to kill my Mother.
69. To Prove a gangster is a terrorist. President George W. Bush, Jr. and Former President George Herbert Bush, Sr. Told us they are the 911 Terrorist evidence of Electronic Satellite recording. Bush is the 911 Terrorist Evidence my ROTC FBI Electronic Surveillance Satellite Recording I wrote took letter to the FBI Houston I was sent by The United Army Criminal Investigations Fort Belvior after I called them and turned him in FBI Houston did not understand told me not to come back. I have solved every crime in America and the world for the last 15 years dating back to before Christ.
REMEMBER A GANGSTER IS A TERRORIST. THE BUSHS ARE GANGSTERS.
Are you convinced now? I am.
Lee Mercer in ’08! Somebody print the bumper stickers!
Posted in Just Plain Odd, Politics
Merle August 23, 2007, 7:12 pm
I don’t know.. going from a president who cannot pronounce words and can barely form sentences to one who can’t manage to write a coherent sentence to save his life (or his wife sex life, whatever that might be) might not be a good move. Perhaps we should elect someone who passed the fifth grade.
Robert August 24, 2007, 1:10 am
America isn’t America no more.
Dave Walls August 24, 2007, 10:06 pm
Paragraph #2 is the longest run-on sentence I’ve ever seen in my life. And one of the funniest.
I really wanna hear the campaign ads for this guy.